Holiday Zombie Survival Guide: For Teens
- Make a list of those that NEED gifts.
I know, I know, no one really “needs” a gift, but make a list of those who are “worthy.” In a zombie apocalypse it would be the ones that you share food with, or your headquarters. Friends deserve it too, but, the person that allows their friends in the bunker usually ends up running out themselves. Okay, that’s an exaggeration but you get the point, save your money for those who deserve it.
- Refer to last year’s Christmas list.
Ever heard of the saying “A fool allows for history to repeat itself?” Don’t be that fool. In a zombie apocalypse, you’d die first for never remembering to shoot the zombie twice. Obviously your master plan to surviving semi-worked since you are still here, but then again, you are reading my guide so something went wrong. Pay attention to what you bought for people and if you overspent, make sure you understand the mistakes you made in the past. People realize you are still a teen and shouldn’t have to “break the bank” for gifts, so don’t.
- Make a List; Check it Twice
The zombies are coming. Everyone in your bunker needs a weapon. Make a chart and split people into categories: the snipers, hand-to-hand combat, and front line. Create a budget. Assign categories divided by the amount of money you are willing to spend on each person. (Maybe mouth-kisser Aunt Becky doesn’t need a $26 bracelet this year). Then, add the amounts up and see if the budget is feasible. If not, adjust the list.
- When in doubt DIY
A brick in a sock works just as well as a hammer for killing the undead. Be creative for the holidays. It’s the thought that counts.
5. Use cash
Daddy and Mommy let you use the M14 to defend your territory! How sweet! But, you didn’t see you only have one magazine of bullets and with an automatic weapon, they will barely last the day. Same goes for a debit card. You don’t realize how quickly you will spend if your transactions are on a seemingly meaningless card. Take some cash out of your wallet and watch your tears roll. Psychologists concluded that people are more willing to spend on a debit card than with cash. Listen to the psychologists, they aren’t the experts for nothing.
- Take a Breath
Rule #1 to surviving an apocalypse, don’t panic. There is a 6.5 earthquake, fire ripping through through your suburban town, and 79 zombies raining from the sky breathing acid all after you. The holidays can sort of feel like that. But, if you take a minute to breathe, you will survive both. Don’t be afraid to take a break from thinking about other people and think about your personal health. The Holidays are meant for family, friends you love and killing zombies. So go kick some butt, kill some zombies and get a few gifts while you’re at it.
