Advanced Procrastination

Originally, since the birth of AP Testing, the AP exam would test students’ knowledge of what they have learned in their AP classes from the start of the school year until their scheduled test date in May. However, the College Board has made changes to the way it tests.

The “AP” in AP Test now stands for Advanced Procrastination.

“We’ve been thinking about changing the test for some time now,” a College Board representative stated, “we figured the ability to test well due to staying up all night studying is the best way to show the student learned.”

A high score is earned by waiting until the absolute last minute to study. Wait until the day before to start a project or the day of to start homework. Students who do their homework as soon as they get home or study for a test for more than a few hours will receive a one on this exam.

Students in the high school have praised about this new test, with some saying that it has relieved them of some stress.

“I’ve been stressing so much about the test since I want to get college credit,” one commented, “now with the change of test, my level of stress has gone down.”

“I no longer have to see my doctor about my high blood pressure. This test will now allow me to get more sleep than ever, and I can hopefully be cured of my insomnia,” another student commented.

“We’ve seen a rapid increase in students choosing to take their courses in the late afternoon and early evening,” a college admission officer told The Pioneer.

So throw away the textbook, make a bonfire with all the class materials, it’s time to get a five on the AP Test.