We have good news for anyone born between the years 1997–2012, your generation has the best mental health ever!
Let’s dive into the science behind this astonishing phenomenon.
Social Media
You’ve heard it all before: “Social media is bad for your mental health,” “Instagram is a breeding ground for insecurity,” “TikTok will suck the soul out of you.” But guess what? All those claims are completely false. In fact, 98% of Gen Z users agree that Instagram and Snapchat actually boost their serotonin levels. Sure, spending hours comparing your real life to the glossy, filtered perfection of influencers is a totally natural way to promote self-esteem. Just stare at that picture-perfect family vacation post while you’re sitting at home alone in your childhood bedroom. It’s not depressing—it’s inspiring. And the best part? It’s actually scientifically proven that looking at Instagram for 4 hours will cure any mental illness you have. Oh, and bonus points for staring at that ugly photo of yourself someone in your family posted. It’s not embarrassing—it’s character development.
School
Whoever said school is stressful must have been living under a rock. All those quizzes, essays, tests, DBQs, PBAs, SATs, homework assignments, and labs? They’re not stressors; they’re opportunities for inner peace. In fact, 100% of surveyed West Orange High School Gen Z students have declared that these challenges have only enhanced their ability to stay calm and focused.
Therapy? You Don’t Need It
While previous generations relied heavily on therapy, Gen Z has unlocked the ultimate secret to good mental health: self-care. And by “self-care,” we mean excessive screen time, mindless scrolling, and consuming “junk” food while binge-watching Netflix shows that we’ve already watched twice. All of these activities are scientifically proven to reduce stress and increase the number of followers you have.
Politics
Now, let’s talk about the political landscape. Sure, the world is essentially a constant news cycle of chaos, division, and confusion, with every headline looking like a new chapter in a dystopian novel that no one asked for. Climate change? Political instability? Pandemics? Racism? No need to stress. You know why? Because it doesn’t affect your mental health at all!
The key to mental wellness is simply to acknowledge the crisis for 30 seconds, take a deep breath, then scroll to the next meme. “If I start crying over the government’s latest failure, I just remember that I can’t control it,” says Sophie, a 16-year-old junior who spends an average of 7 hours per day on TikTok. “Plus, have you seen the memes? They’re hilarious. Everything is fine. I am fine.”
Concentration Levels:
Another lesser-known reason Gen Z’s mental health is thriving? Our absolutely impeccable ability to multitask. Need proof? Gen Z has mastered the art of playing Subway Surfers or Xbox while watching a movie and doing homework all at once. Sounds impossible? Not for us! We’ve somehow managed to train our brains to not focus on anything for more than 30 seconds at a time. And you know what? That’s not a lack of concentration from social media—it’s mental flexibility.
Happy April Fools’ Day!
Despite what this article says, Gen Z is actually the most anxious, overworked generation ever. This article may be a total lie, but at least you can take comfort in scrolling through 80 more Instagram Reels. Everything is totally fine. You’re fine.
