In a bold fashion, former WWE CEO, the US Secretary of Education, Linda McMahon, has made an unorthodox push towards bettering the wellbeing of American students: putting WWE rings in schools. Gym class is out, and you better open up to page one of “Books and Body Slams”.
It’s well known that the American gym class has digressed significantly, leading to a rapid increase in obesity rates. McMahon aims to tackle that problem (no pun intended), in order to take back the years of laziness and replace them with valuable life skills and more exercise. “I know this sport better than anybody!” McMahon tells reporters. “It’ll teach these punks better life skills, discipline, and how to leave a grown man in a choke hold. Throw ‘em into the ring!”
Some fight back, arguing that cleaning unsanitary bathrooms, and increasing class funding, and improving bussing, and giving out free lunches, and providing children with more educational help would be of greater use. But the former CEO remains undeterred, claiming that this will have a Fight Club style effect on the kids.
While the country grapples with the ups and downs of the last few months in this country, one thing is certain: Linda McMahon is going to make American wrestle again.
